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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071341">Enemies Abound</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamJoinedtheReconCorps/pseuds/SamJoinedtheReconCorps'>SamJoinedtheReconCorps</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Flame in the Shadows [25]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Introspection, M/M, Mostly hurt, Regret, Worry, all that good emotional jazz, everyone just needs to hug it out man, minor hurt/comfort, post ep 99, so you just gotta be good with the people you love y'kno, spoilers for the wildemount fireside chat, y'know, ya never know when some fish fucks are gonna just come for ya neck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:02:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,096</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamJoinedtheReconCorps/pseuds/SamJoinedtheReconCorps</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>With the peace talks mere days away, the Mighty Nein head out on the Balleater alongside the Empire armada - with unexpected guests making an appearance along the way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Flame in the Shadows [25]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648909</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>91</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Enemies Abound</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>once again, my most sincerest apologies for being gone for so long T.T if it were up to me, I would just be writing nonstop - but alas, even in quarantine life still demands my attention, and so I've been dealing with that and with homework and my senior college thesis</p>
<p>its been a bit, but now I'm here!!! gods, we're so close to being caught up and i'm so freaking terrified of that but we're gettin' there lads</p>
<p>anyway, enough of all that, I really hope you guys like this next part of the series!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After another restless night at the Lavish Chateau, Caleb found himself to his own devices  once everyone had dispersed after breakfast - with Veth going with her family and Jester with her mother, and Fjord, Caduceus, Yasha, and Beau all taking off to different parts of the city, leaving him entirely alone. The Empire ships wouldn’t be leaving port until the day after tomorrow, and with that spare time it was only natural that everyone would go tend to their own business.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But, that didn’t mean that Caleb didn’t feel any lonelier now that they were all busy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For that, however, all he had to do was keep his mind occupied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He settled down at the small desk tucked into the corner of his room, setting his bag down and pulling out the collar from Halas’ Folding Halls and his notes on what he’d figured out on it so far. He gave them a thorough read through, noting special attention to the pieces he was missing, and connecting parts of information he had figured out since he last fiddled around with it. With such ancient technology, he needed to be extremely careful that he didn’t ruin the artifact, so the more that he could figure out on paper before getting to it, the better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without even realizing, Caleb found himself pulling out a pearl from his pocket, rolling it around between his fingers as he began to run through the incantation mentally. He froze, looking down at it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Did he really want to use the spell? It felt so much like accepting his help, and Caleb felt himself ache at the thought. He didn’t want his help, because he couldn’t rely on his help, not after what they’d found out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m interested to see what you do with these,” Essek had said, his smile like moonlight, slow and secret, just for him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb stared down at the collar, knowing he was going to start taking it apart now that he’d gone over all of his notes. The pearl was still held in his grasp, warm now between his fingers where it had been cold when he’d first pulled it out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A little extra help could only make things go smoother...and besides, it was just a spell. He may have taught it to him, but now it was a part of his repertoire like all the rest of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Putting the pearl to his forehead, he closed his eyes and quietly said the incantation. He felt the phantom heartbeat thud to life in his chest, a comforting safety net to guide him to the better outcome. The pearl dissolved into glittering dust, coating his fingertips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It always reminded him of stardust, and thinking of that inevitably made him think of -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Nein</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he ground out. He was here to work this out, and to keep his mind busy, to keep his thoughts from circling back to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tapped his fingers against the desk, taking a deep breath before he began to disassemble the collar and got to work - and feeling a little less lonelier now, with his spell as company.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>And if Caleb worked on figuring it out for the rest of the day and through the night and past sunrise - well that was no one’s business but his own. He wasn’t going to be getting any sleep anyway.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Essek didn’t like sailing very much. It was so boring, to just be confined to this tiny stretch of wood with nothing to see for miles and miles outside of the other ships crawling along beside them. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out how people might do this for a living.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a sigh, Essek sat down in his chair, rubbing at his aching temples. Maybe he was so frustrated because of the company he was keeping during this venture. Being on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wind of Aeons</span>
  </em>
  <span> was somehow lonelier than his tower had become.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ever since they’d set sail the day prior, Essek had “kept” to the quarters he’d been allotted. As if he had much of a choice. He was only allowed out of his room with an escort, and always wearing his Lord Dezran Thain </span>
  <em>
    <span>disguise</span>
  </em>
  <span>. This was a prison of his own making, however, and it was definitely much nicer than anything that would await him in the Dungeon of Penance if anyone found out about what he’d done.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And even though it was all an empty gesture, the Assembly provided the essentials. It was a sparsely furnished room, with a bed, a desk, and a chair - just in case Essek wanted to “do a bit of work” during the journey. Essek huffed out a humorless laugh. He would never work on anything related to his Shadowhand duties on this ship - he knew the Martinet would easily gather that information if Essek so carelessly brought it on board. The bed was also useless to him. He wouldn’t be caught dead trying to trance here. They would carve into him at the slightest opportunity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, every night, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>teleported</span>
  </em>
  <span> back to his tower to get at least an hour’s worth of work in and to trance before he </span>
  <em>
    <span>teleported</span>
  </em>
  <span> right back. It was tedious, but it was the safest this travel was going to get for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At least they respected his wish to have his room on the quarter deck. He feels marginally safer than if he were to be further below deck. His room is right beneath the captain’s quarters, so it even had the added benefit of a tiny little window set into the back of the room. Glancing outside, all he could see was more ocean, and a couple more Empire ships - and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Balleater</span>
  </em>
  <span>, slowly coming along as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His heart gave a painful lurch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“But make no mistake,” Caleb had said, pulling away from Essek, coming to stand in front of him. His expression was hard set but hurting, an expression of sadness that even the beautiful clothes he’d worn for the evening could do nothing to mask. “We do not trust you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d thought about </span>
  <em>
    <span>sending</span>
  </em>
  <span> them a message, to see how they were doing during the trip - but every single time the words vanished from his mind as the spell fizzled out at his fingertips. What was he supposed to say? Hello, Jester, how’s the trip? Is the sea treating you better than it treats me? Good evening, Beauregard, are you all well on your ship? Hello, Veth, is it a different experience to be out at sea in your old body rather than as a goblin? Yasha, has everyone been sleeping well? Caduceus, did you pack any tea that could help with anxiety? Do you regret forgiving me so early? Fjord, are you taking better care of them than I ever could? Caleb, I -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry that has brought us out into the middle of nowhere with deadly mages. I’m sorry I’ve put you in even more danger by caring about you. I’m sorry I’ve ruined everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The softness of Caleb’s touch on his cheek rises to his mind, the tactile memory making him touch the same spot almost reverently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It doesn’t mean we don’t hope for you,” he whispered. “It’s a tricky balance, Essek.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A tricky, tricky balance indeed. But he was a gravaturgist after all - and that had to come in handy when trying to keep things from falling apart. Or else even all of his magic, even that would have been for naught.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The first couple days at sea were uneventful. The weather was comfortable, Fjord kept everyone and everything under control, Caduceus gifted him scrolls with </span>
  <em>
    <span>telekinesis</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>flaming sphere</span>
  </em>
  <span> - the latter of which he then gave to Veth because he already had it in his spellbook - and Jester, Beau, and Yasha all worked hard on Jester’s party favors for TravelerCon. There was also plenty to be done on the ship, keeping his mind busy enough that they wouldn’t stray to thoughts of - of Essek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Things were good - things were so good in fact that Caleb had even pulled Fjord aside, finally fulfilling the promise he had made to him in Zadash all those months ago when Fjord had asked him why his past was so checkered with flame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And despite everything he told him, Fjord had taken it well. He’d been kind, reassuring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You are a good friend. I know you’ve done terrible things, but I see a good man.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb rubbed at his eyes tiredly. His words were a kindness that Caleb knew he didn’t deserve, but he was - he was getting better at not fighting it. He was getting better at letting the words wash over him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a sigh, he rolled over on the bed he’d taken as his while they travelled on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Balleater</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Maybe...maybe over time he would believe in their words the way they seemed to believe in him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The storm rumbled overhead, the roll of thunder now a comfort after being around Yasha for so long. He glanced over at the door to his room, catching sight of the silver string he’d set up there. He wondered if he’d ever feel safe enough to not set up an </span>
  <em>
    <span>alarm</span>
  </em>
  <span> every night - and he hoped he’d live long enough to see the day that came to pass.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Trancing never took as long as what seems to be a regular sleep cycle for most humanoids. After only spending a couple of hours in his tower, Essek had already </span>
  <em>
    <span>teleported</span>
  </em>
  <span> back to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wind of Aeons</span>
  </em>
  <span>, settling into his quarters as best as he could. That just meant pacing back and forth like a caged animal, nervous and jumpy as he waited for anything to go wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had considered picking up whatever novel he had on hand in his tower before he came back to the ship, but he had forgotten it at the last second. With so many things on his mind, it was only natural that things would start to slip from his attention. He just hoped that that wouldn’t happen with anything important.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A flash of lightning illuminated his quarters briefly as it struck out over the sea. The storm was thundering with a ferocity that Essek had never experienced before, which only added to his nervousness. But it would be fine, he reasoned. He was on the Cerberus Assembly’s ship. It wouldn’t get sunk by something like a sea storm. The world wouldn’t be so lucky to be rid of some of the Assembly members by such a natural cause.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shaking his head, he was just about to turn around and start to pace across his room again when he heard a high pitched shriek, far off and mostly muffled by the sound of the ocean and the clap of thunder, but still loud enough for him to hear. He felt his muscles seize up, locking in place, sending his mind into a panicked frenzy. It felt so similar to how he’d felt when he’d been paralyzed at the party -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But just as quickly as it came, it was gone. He could move freely, and while that should have made him feel much better, all he could feel was how his heart filled with dread as he reached his window and looked out, hoping to make out the familiar ship through the storm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as he got to the window, there was another shriek that froze his muscles in place as anxiety lashed around his chest, looking out at the turbulent waters, unable to make out anything. There was another snap of lightning, burning bright and fast, and it gave Essek the chance to make out their ship still holding up the rear of the armada as his muscles responded to him again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then there was a bolt of green, and another burst of light - but not lightning, light, </span>
  <em>
    <span>divine</span>
  </em>
  <span> light, and that green was </span>
  <em>
    <span>arcane</span>
  </em>
  <span>, because even at this distance Essek could recognize magic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something was very, very wrong. His immediate thought was to go to them - to be at their side and to help them, to keep them safe, but just as quickly as the thought came, it disappeared. If he went, the Assembly would know he went to them, and that would be putting them into a whole different kind of danger than whatever they faced now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes him only a split second to make his decision as he dashes to his door, going to pull it open. It wouldn’t budge. He pounds his fist against it in frustration. “Help!” he shouts, screaming at the top of his lungs. “Something’s wrong! Help!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a second he’s afraid that no one will come, that they might think that he’s asking for help for himself, and that they’ll just leave him to whatever torments him - but then there’s the loud click of the bolt coming undone and the door swings open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lady Vess DeRogna stands there, looking tired and annoyed, as if she’d just woken up. “What do you want?” she growled, stepping into his room and shutting the door behind her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re in danger,” Essek instantly told her, pointing towards his window. “Something’s wrong, I saw - I think they’re under attack.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes narrow as she watches him suspiciously. “Who? The mercenaries?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yes, the Mighty Nein,” Essek answers, his voice rising in his desperation to get her to </span>
  <em>
    <span>go</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “But if you won’t help them then I -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You,” she snapped, giving him a flashing glare. “Will stay here. Do not complicate things. I will see what is happening.” She muttered something under her breath, her hands tracing out a handful of runes - and then she was gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He releases a shaky breath, heading back to his window. He can’t see anything but the occasional flash of lightning, can see no more divine or arcane bolts of magic, but it does nothing to comfort him - it could either mean everything was fine, or everything was terribly wrong, and he didn’t want to settle on any premature conclusion, he couldn’t afford to when he felt the way his heart was beating in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After an eternity contained within a handful of minutes, DeRogna returned in a puff of purple arcane energy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The situation is under control,” she told him, cutting him off before he could even get a word in. “They were seemingly attacked by creatures of the reefs, potentially viewing our passing through these waters as trespassing into their domain.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are they okay? Was anyone hurt?” Essek rushed to ask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She raised a brow. “The half-orc seemed to be the worst injured from what I saw, but everyone seemed fine,” she got out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Fjord.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Although you should be worried about yourself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thain</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she spat. “They are not your friends here and you would do well to remember that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I - y-yes,” he nodded, averting his gaze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And next time message Ludinus - I want to get some rest,” she finished, leaving his room and slamming the door shut behind her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek flinched at the sound, slowly sitting down on the edge of his bed. He glanced over towards his window, unable to make out anything anymore. They’d been attacked and Fjord had been injured - but they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he assured himself. DeRogna had no reason to lie about something like that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pulling out his copper wire, he considers </span>
  <em>
    <span>sending</span>
  </em>
  <span> them a message again. Just to ask how they were, if he could do anything for them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> he do anything for them?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He twists the wire between his fingers in frustration, rising shakily to his feet. He was a prisoner on this ship; if he left right now, they would know he left to see them. And if he messaged them - he had nothing to say that they’d want to hear. They didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>him, he reminded himself bitterly. But knowing that Fjord - that any one of them, that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Caleb</span>
  </em>
  <span>, could have been lost to whatever creatures attacked them on their ship, Essek realizes all over again the depth of his feelings for the group, how much he cares for all of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Letting out a shaky breath that sounds too close to a sob, Essek throws the copper wire across the room, slumping back down onto the bed and holding his head in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time feels like it's been reduced to a crawl, and he isn’t sure how much time has passed before he hears Jester voice in his head. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, Essek, do you have any diamonds on you that you’d be willing to give me? Like, something worth, like, a hundred gold, or something -</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice fails him when he opens his mouth to speak, and he blinks back tears before trying again. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ah, it is early, Jester</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he starts, hoping he sounds nonchalant and not like the mess he is because he knows that they are much worse off than him. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>U-unfortunately, that is not the type of component that I prepared for the journey.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” The question, </span>
  <em>
    <span>are you all okay?</span>
  </em>
  <span> stays lodged in his throat, losing it's moment as the spell fades. No other message comes through.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rubbing at his face in frustration with himself, he at least took comfort in having heard from Jester - if she was still able to cast a spell like that, then it gave DeRogna’s words validity. They were okay, at least for now, although they were apparently looking for diamonds that Essek had no idea why they might need them, not finding himself in the headspace to wrack his brain for spells that may use diamonds as a component. Even so, it was going to be an awfully long night until the sun rose - and even when it did rise he knew that he would continue to feel this way, alone, scared, and adrift in his own mistakes and worries.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>It's with shaking hands that Caleb carefully lifts Fjord up, letting him lean his back against Caleb’s chest. His head lolls slack against Caleb’s neck, his hair wet from the rain sticking to Caleb’s skin. Caleb feels like he might be sick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jester’s shouting Caduceus’ name, and he comes, quickly taking stock and murmuring a spell under his breath as he sprinkles something over Fjord then places a copper piece over both his eyes. There’s a gentle green glow, and then Caduceus is gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb tears his eyes away from Fjord, tears his eyes away from the gaping wound in his chest. The rain that falls over them feels too much like ice and snow, and he thinks of Mollymauk, the way the glaive carved into his chest and shattered his ribs. He feels the energy from the </span>
  <em>
    <span>disintegrate</span>
  </em>
  <span> spell still buzz at his fingertips, can feel the echo of the creature’s spell shatter like glass beneath his </span>
  <em>
    <span>counterspell</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He still feels the acid as it shot from his hand, reducing one of their attackers to a boiling puddle of mush - but he feels fire licking at his fingertips as he sees Beau in his mind’s eye, as he sees Yasha stand over Beau and plunge the greatsword deep into her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can hear Beau screaming Fjord’s name, can hear the whistle of the wind and the storm whipping around them as he </span>
  <em>
    <span>flies</span>
  </em>
  <span> up in time to see Fjord weakly looking up at the creature before it strikes him down, stabbing down viciously, deeply. Fjord’s hand reaches up as if to push the sword out, his fingers wrapping clumsily around the blade, but he can’t get purchase over the blood and rain slicking it, and then another creature joins in the frenzy and twists the sword, Fjord’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>old sword</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the sword that’s a symbol of his old patron, and Fjord shudders a broken gasp. His hand slips, falling on the deck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Swallowing hard, Caleb blinks the image away right as Caduceus returns with a diamond in his hands that he pushes into Fjord’s chest as he removes the copper from his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The diamond begins to crumble beneath Caduceus’ hands, turning into dust that falls deeper into the mess of blood - then suddenly green vines sprout out of the wound, growing and wrapping around Fjord’s chest. Caleb feels the vines slide past him, and he gives them room to move where he holds up Fjord, and the vines create a tightly knit ball right over the blood and exposed tissue before flashing a bright green that withers to brown and grey in a heartbeat, falling apart to show the wound now mostly healed over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rain continues to fall, a constant downpour that threatens to drown out everything around them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Fjord’s chest rises weakly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb releases a shaky breath, his head falling to rest on top of Fjord’s softly, his shoulders shaking with a silent sob. He feels someone sag against him, and he knows it's Beau from the sound of her relieved laughter, bordering on hysterical.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caduceus presses his palms against Fjord’s chest, and a layer of lichen sprouts beneath his hands racing across the remains of the wound, bright pink to contrast with the dark green of Fjord’s skin and the scarlet of his blood. The lichen then withers away, falling apart to show the wound that’s now been reduced to a thin scar, looking like something that may have happened weeks or even months ago and not like something that had just been enough to kill him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jester breathes out a choked laugh, pecking a kiss on Fjord’s cheek before she reluctantly pulls away, rushing over to Orly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord gives a pained groan, shifting as he tries to sit up further.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, ah - um, just breathe,” Caleb instructed, gently propping Fjord up further, letting him lean heavily against him. “Breathe slow - slow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything is a blur after that in comparison to the relief that washed over him now that Fjord was alive again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vess DeRogna of the Cerberus Assembly makes a brief appearance before leaving after seeing that things were under control, which should make Caleb more unnerved than it does but when the bodies of the screeching sea creatures they fought begin to revert forms in death until they’re left with the corpses of a fisherman, a goliath, and an elf, and, in light of that, DeRogna gets shoved to the back of his mind in terms of immediacy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An eerie tattoo of Uk’otoa’s symbol, of the cloven crystal, sits in the center of the fisherman’s chest. Beau and Jester work together to cut open the fisherman - who had been the one who had killed Fjord - and search for one of Uk’otoa’s stones within him. They find nothing, but then Caduceus casts </span>
  <em>
    <span>locate object </span>
  </em>
  <span>and he feels it, he feels the orb - and it's inside Fjord.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jester suggests messaging Essek for help, to see if he may be able to do something to get the orb out of Fjord, but the idea is quickly shot down. Caleb isn’t sure if he feels relieved that they didn’t ask Essek for help or if the twinge in his chest is one of disappointment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord casts </span>
  <em>
    <span>water breathing</span>
  </em>
  <span> on everyone, asking Caleb to remind him to cast it again every 24 hours - just in case Uk’otoa’s minions come around and jeopardize the ship so that they’ll all be a little more prepared and ready to handle things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The distant sound of bells ring out as neighboring ships drift closer, but Orly thankfully assures them and sends them away, leaving the Mighty Nein unbothered. Caleb knows no one can handle more than what’s immediately happening on the ship.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Knowing that they have to get the orb out of Fjord, Jester sets up a small makeshift prayer circle to the Traveller on the deck, ignoring the rain that continues to fall around them and that threatens to wash away the little figurines she’s set up around her. They hold fast however, even as a cool breeze whips past, scattering the remnants of the dried vines and lichen from Caduceus’ spells on Fjord, and suddenly the Traveller is there, his green cloak swaying gently against the gales of the storm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb only catches Jester’s side of the conversation before the archfey vanishes, then Jester turns to Caduceus, a determined set to her brow that tells them that she believes they can do it - they can get it out of Fjord.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She messages Essek then, and Caleb doesn’t even have time to register that as Veth pulls out green residuum dust that makes Caleb’s heart jump to his throat and sends a creeping itch crawling up his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caduceus takes a handful of the dust as Jester holds Fjord’s hand and Beau lets Fjord bite down on her staff. Caleb finds that he can’t move, feeling himself completely rooted to the spot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord gives a shaky exhale through his nose, blinking rainwater out of his eyes, before he nods at Caduceus. Putting a hand on Fjord’s shoulder, Caduceus takes the residuum and presses it into Fjord’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb feels his scars ache as Fjord’s eyes shut with pain, his teeth digging into the wood of Beau’s staff. This is to heal him, not to hurt him, Caleb reminds himself as he feels his breaths becoming shallow, watching as pink lichen extends from beneath Caduceus’ palm and grows across Fjord’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This is to heal him, not to hurt him, he repeats - and then he watches Fjord stumble to his knees, as Caduceus falls with him, both of them shuddering, seizing up, and it's </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurting </span>
  </em>
  <span>Fjord, </span>
  <em>
    <span>it's hurting him, it hurts, it hurts -</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The staff clatters to the ground a split second before Fjord retches foamy, briney water onto the wooden planks, and then there’s as bouncing thud as the orb comes up in a mouthful of seawater that hits the deck along with the rain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s on his hands and knees, having let go of Jester but now with Yasha at his side, holding him up as best as she can as he shakes and heaves until nothing else comes up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beau tentatively picks up the orb with her sash, careful not to touch it as Caleb reaches into his shirt and pulls out a piece of amber.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I - if I put it in this, it will be gone,” Caleb tells them. He didn’t even realize he was going to offer that until the words were out of his mouth. “Gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Caduceus nods, shakily getting back to his feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does that mean, gone?” Veth asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It's the amber,” Fjord chokes out, glancing over at Caleb before looking away to dry heave again. “It’s the amber stone -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How gone?” Caduceus double checks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb touches the spot where he knows his amulet lays beneath his shirt. “Well, no one can see me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caduceus nods again. “Perfect. Let’s do it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After Beau sets the orb down, Caleb carefully sets down his pieces of amber, going through his spell until there’s a puff of arcane smoke and the orb is gone. He picks up the largest piece of amber, feeling the way tremors wrack his hands. He puts that piece inside a tiny pouch he keeps around his neck on a chain, letting it sit beside his amulet. The remaining smaller pieces of amber he quickly pockets with his other components.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yasha and Caduceus haul the smaller fish creature bodies overboard, keeping only the larger ones that reverted into the more humanoid corpses. There’s only a handful of hours before sunrise, and Caleb knows that Fjord - and everyone else, for that matter - need some rest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They all head downstairs, to the gundeck and to the room that Jester had picked out for herself since it was the only one that seemed large enough for all of them. Excusing himself briefly, Caleb heads down to the bottom deck, pinpointing the spot where he believed the room everyone was in was at and bringing out his silver sting. He sets out an </span>
  <em>
    <span>alarm</span>
  </em>
  <span> beneath them, just in case anything were to come up from below.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes him the customary ten minutes to cast it, but he knows it takes him about five more minutes than usual to start. He presses a shaking hand over his mouth, releasing a trembling breath as he tries to fight back tears. Fjord had died - Orly had died. So many more things could have gone wrong that would have made them lose him forever - and Caleb couldn’t afford to lose anyone else, not like Mollymauk, not like this, not so soon after -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cuts himself off, shaking his head sharply. He wasn’t dead, and neither were Fjord or Orly. They were handling things, things were </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he finally climbs back to the gundeck twenty minutes later, he walks past Gallan who’s busily working on repairs. He gives the man a tired nod before joining the rest of the Mighty Nein, finding them already asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seeing them like that, an odd cuddle pile centered around Fjord, makes Caleb smile despite it all. He settles into another familiar routine as he sets up the dome, feeling only a little safer once it slowly spreads out over them. All the while, the amber sits heavy against his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His scars ache again when he glances over at Fjord. He looks to Caduceus, then to Veth, then again to Fjord, feeling tears prick his eyes as he thinks of Mollymauk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And now, as he’s all alone with only the soft snores of his friends for company, he can’t fight off the worry he’d been trying to ignore since Nicodranas - almost losing Fjord like that had been a wake up call that now makes his worry impossible to ignore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>There is a very high likelihood that the people that you are dancing with mean to cut your throat and leave you in the dust.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb’s warning to Essek bounces around in his own head, insistent and painful and nauseatingly possible - an inevitability, and Caleb knows it. He looks at Fjord again, and he can see a tinge of crimson on his skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Enemies were crowding in on all sides, and while the Mighty Nein were here, safe in his dome, they were missing one of their group - and he was off on his own, beneath the thumb of the Assembly. The Assembly that could tear into him so, so easily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb stared down at his hands, at the hands of the Assembly made killer that he was, feeling the amber and his amulet and the Bright Queen’s symbol hang around his neck like a noose and worrying about Essek until the sun rose.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i really am That Bitch who flip flops on the spelling of Travel(l)er, I either use one L or two and I can't stick to one variation, so BIG OOF on my part gang</p>
<p>omfg tho i'd been planning for Essek to have heard the creature's screech since the moment the episode aired, I was like !!!!! Essek's gonna be in range when I get my hands on this episode!!! it was just too good an opportunity to pass up</p>
<p>that little moment with DeRogna and Essek though like....idk man, the moments with Essek interacting with the Assembly have been so much fun to write, like just that TENSION man</p>
<p>and i know there was a bit of overlap between that DeRogna scene and what was happening on the Balleater, but I honestly just didn't want to cut into the moments Caleb was going through with the Mighty Nein on their ship, it was just so emotionally loaded that it felt much better to do it like that rather than cut into it y'know??</p>
<p>this fic was just real sad boi hours all around huh :(((( Essek is feeling big regrets, Caleb is so, so worried, and after the next part of the series we gotta wait for canon to start up again...being on this mortal coil is really testing us isn't it T.T</p>
<p>but, but, but, like I said in the last part of the series, I did start a canon divergent multichapter <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23872966/chapters/57385546">Shadowgast fic</a>, and the next chapter's up now too!! (or at least it should be by the time you get to these notes, since i'm publishing right after this fic goes up!!) so if you guys want a bit more Shadowgast content to help with the hiatus, I hope that that helps lovies</p>
<p>anyway, thank you so, so, so, so, so much for reading, I hope you guys liked it, and I love you all very much, and I hope that you're all safe and sound during all of this</p>
<p>this fic was inspired by:<br/>Dark Waters | Critical Role | Campaign 2, Episode 98 - 55:20, 2:41:00 - 5:06:15<br/>High Seas, High Stakes | Critical Role | Campaign 2, Episode 99 - 13:30 - 1:10:00</p></blockquote></div></div>
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